Archive for March, 2006

Before Sunrise and The Moments

I watched a few good movies lately, but Before Sunrise (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112471/) is probably my recent favorite, portraying a transient relationship that’s so natural, beautiful, and idealistic. The firm is conversation-oriented so it may not suit everyone’s taste, but this seems to tell me that life’s about these small things (like conversation). First I thought I’ll watch the sequel right after, but now I think I’ll save it for a later time to let the beautiful encounter last for a while.


Life can be so dead, or so alive

So dull, or colorful

So fake, or real

So mundane, or extraordinary


A place, a time, a person

Can be so repetitive or so different

Happen or not happen

A slight difference that changes everything


A connection, a mutual feeling, or a share of understanding

Moments so honest and spiritual

Maybe the moment’s all there is

And living life’s finding the moments


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Recent update

I’m having my Easter break, but there isn’t much time to be idle as I got essays to do and need to prepare for exams. Nevertheless I decided I’ll start working seriously from next week and just chill out this weekend. Cambridge’s terms are really short; a 9-month course consists of roughly 5 months classes and 4 months holidays. The hourly tuition’s definitely not cheap. Since the university selects mostly top students, they probably expect students to self-study and work hard on their own. There are probably lots of things to be said about prestigious university like Cambridge (e.g. whether they really add-value, if so, how?), but I guess I will leave this topic for another time.


I just posted some photos of a few gathering I had this term. My hair’s starting to get long, and I’m finding it a bit troublesome. Even though the length’s near the limit I can tolerate, I decided not to cut it until I get back to Bangkok during summer, mainly because I think the hair cut services here are expensive and not really good either. Not sure how long will my hair by then; hope that friends will still recognize me.


I came across some articles on lucid dreams (when you’re aware that you’re dreaming and are able to control it) and watched an animation related to it (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0243017/). Interestingly, I had one recently (without intention), but I didn’t find it too exciting though. This is roughly how it’s like: It seems like you’re awake but you aren’t, like you’re mixing your thoughts with your dreams. What you think somehow become dreams, and different from usual introspection about things that you’re now in a first person point of view interacting actively with the environment. I didn’t find it particularly rewarding as it didn’t help me get in touch with what I don’t already know (although I did try flying a bit). But still it’s an interesting experience since I usually don’t have self-awareness during dream.

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Why post lyric

Some people may wonder why I post lyrics on my blog. There’re various occasions why I do that. Sometimes the song’s the one I feel like listening to again and again at that particular period. Other times I found the lyric resonates with my thoughts or myself in some ways. And sometime I just like the lyric itself. I also enjoy making lyric translation from time to time (those without reference are my translation), that’s why most lyrics I posted are translated from Japanese songs. I think Japanese is an extremely beautiful language. They use many poetic words that can give rise to lots of different interpretations or can conjure different images. Translating the lyric thus help me to understand the song better and also allow me some freedom to my interpretation I like to the music. I guess one or more of the above reasons (as well as my capricious behavior) motivate me to share the lyrics on my blog.

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Which’s a better world

Art can be a frightening.

They show me things I don’t want to see

And bring me to realms I’m afraid to enter


They disturbs me

Take away my illusion, my fantasy

And render my dreams and beliefs empty


Sometimes so beautiful, sometimes ugly

These pieces of reality that make up my illusions

These messy things called art I can’t help but fall into

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How sad can life be, not being able to live with the world and without the love to share this pain.


Forever Love

Song by X-Japan



I can’t walk on alone anymore; the winds of time are too strong
Ah, I’m supposed to get used to painful things, but now…
Ah, just hold on like this to my wet and exposed heart
In this ever changing time, if there’s love that will never change
Will you hold my heart? Take away my tears?
Already near the limit of breaking, all my heart

Forever love, forever dream
Only this flowing memories

Please bury this intense, trying, meaningless times
Oh tell me why; all I see is blue in my heart
Will you stay with me until the wind passes?
Still flowing, all my tears

Forever love, forever dream, stay beside me just like this
Please hold my quivering heart in the dawn
Oh stay with me

Ah, I want to end everything in this endless night
Ah, there’s already nothing I can’t afford to lose…

Except you

Forever love, forever dream, stay beside me just like this
Please hold my quivering heart in the dawn
Will you stay with me until the wind passes?
More than anyone else, beside me
Forever love, forever dream, I can’t walk on more than this.
Oh tell me why, oh tell me true; please teach me how to live
Forever love, forever dream, within my flowing tears
Until the bright seasons turn into eternity
Forever love


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No one is the same

Why do people care about personal identity so much? We like to define ourselves in certain ways, want to be associated with certain qualities or belong in certain categories. But does identity exists? Is my self really a consistent self? Every experience I have and actions I take change me in some ways. It’s not too absurd to think of myself in different time as a different being connected only by some shared memories, experience, and similarities in thoughts, appearance, and personalities. Appearance changes, thinking changes, personalities change, even memories tend to alter through time. So is there anything in me that will remain unchanged? If I’m never the same person, what defines me then? If I wake up tomorrow and decide to be a different person and act in a completely different way, am I still me?   We usually afraid or don’t like the thoughts that our close friends or loved ones change. Perhaps it is because these are people who share similar interests, values, or activities with us, and we’re afraid that changes will alter this similarity and put a distance to the closeness. Maybe our closest or best friends are just people we’re confident that even if we know we’re going to change, the changes are unlikely to be substantial enough to alter our shared interests or similarities. That may be also why we want to maintain come kind of consistency within ourselves. If my self at present and in the future are different selves, I probably wouldn’t want to change too much as that may create the strangeness among these beings (or in friendship terms, to maintain the close friendship for my present and future selves). The greatest loneliness may come from losing these closest friends of ours.   I guess I’m not making sense anymore, but doesn’t matter, just some weird thoughts that came to me.

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Stay Strong

Reading a friend’s blog reminds me of various things in life. Seeing friends pursuing their dreams (writing novel, starting and running business, etc.), learning to deal with life, and facing adversity while still helping and supporting others, I want to be become stronger too.
Today’s resolution: Work hard and stay strong and positive for both myself and my friends.

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