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Archive for October, 2006

Another thought on life

A close relative just passed away. She’s a half sister of mine and helped me a lot every time I go back to Bangkok. I like her, but why is it that I don’t seem to feel sad when I hear the news? I feel sorry for her young children and close relatives. And given a choice, I wouldn’t want the event to happen. But is that all I should be feeling?

 

Maybe I’m a cold-hearted person, not being able to feel much for others. Or maybe I don’t see life as important as I used to. I used to be afraid of dying as it makes all the things I’ve strive for, experiences I’ve had, and memories I’ve treasured worthless. But now I see life and death as a much more random and superfluous thing. A terror attack might just happen tomorrow and changes everything in my life.

 

How will I feel if everyone I value disappears? Will I just go on living and adapt to the new situation? Or will I feel differently from what I feel now? It’s scary to contemplate the thought that everything we think is important in life might not really be that important to us, that everything is just an illusion we created to help us go through life more easily.

 

Don’t know why I’d want to post this entry online as it might scare some new friends away or get some old friends worried. But at least I can use my cold as an excuse this time. Since I can’t concentrate on any serious study now, why not come up with some weird thoughts.

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Oops, caught a cold

After 4 years of healthy living, I finally caught a cold. I was caught in the rain when I walked back home from work last Friday. Then I began to develop sore throat, blocked noise, and all sorts of cold symptoms. The rain probably weakened my immune system substantially. Though I never understand why walking in the rain, especially those little ones, makes people sick (isn’t it just like taking a shower or playing with water?).

 

During my high school study, my sister once told me that I’m more likable when sick as I tend to be less goal-oriented, competitive, and more tolerant of people and things (or maybe it seems that way because I don’t have the energy to argue/fight with her). But I hope I had already growth a bit and don’t need a cold to make me a better friend or brother.

 

It’s also much harder to get works done when sick. Although it can be a good excuse to shirk, that’s not something I need now. Let’s hope I’ll recover soon. I need all the energy I can summon to do things I like. Life’s too short to stay this way.

 

Lesson: Take a bus when the weather looks bad. The calories burned and the money saved is not worth the productivity lost.

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Life after May

It’s been a while since I posted my last entry. A lot has happened since then: received a diploma from Cambridge, seeing friends and enjoying life in Hong Kong and Thailand, and now coming back to UK to do my master at London School of Economics.

 

After spending two weeks living in Ko’s place, I’m currently living by myself in a LSE Hall (dorm). At first I don’t like this place: situated in a relatively unsafe area, far from the campus (about 40 mins walk), and not really cheap. But as I get used to the place, I actually think it’s not that bad. It’s spacious and quiet compare to many other dorms, and I also got my own fridge. And as I figured out the shortest route to school, I’m now walking to and from school everyday, which is a good way to exercise and save money. It took me about 30-35 mins if I walk fast.

 

The tuition and accommodation cost in London’s much more expensive than in Cambridge, and since I only have the same amount of money, I have to cut down on my living expenses to survive. Fortunately, Ko taught me how to live cheaply in London. The secret is sandwich and sandwich. He literately has sandwich every meal for the past months before I arrive. It’s indeed the cheapest way to live. But to stay healthy, I refined the strategy a bit. I’m not having cereal in the morning, homemade sandwich afternoon, and some vegetable and fruits the evening. It’s amazing that I could survive a week in London with about 20 pounds (roughly half of what I used to spend in Cambridge). I guess if there’s a need, then there’s a way. I recently also found a part time analyst job in a real estate company and get pay pretty well, so if I save the money, I probably could enjoy life in London once in a while. For now I’ll stick to the free museums and galleries.

 

I was mainly studying math during the past month. The one month pre-session math course just ended with exams earlier this week. Some of the materials are quite tough, but so far I’m enjoying my study here. I’m also quite fond of LSE, although I felt the average student quality might not be as high here as those in Cambridge, LSE seems to have a more dynamic atmosphere. I also think it’s more organized and has a better IT system (although I still hear a lot of other students complain about it). The students here also tend to be more active and extremely career oriented. Not sure if being around lots of social activist and career focused people is what I enjoy, but I guess it’s good to see a new place and meet different people. After all I’m living in London now. A professor once told me that if a person is bored in London, then he’s probably bored with life. I might not have a life here (no money, no time), but this is definitely an exciting place to have living experience in.

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