Drawing: Ghibli Romance

Read Full Post »

Soul and the Courage to be Oneself

What defines our identity? If we change, are we still the same person? Most would say yes. But what about incidents that change our brains, affecting our memories, personality, or behavior? This reminds me of Theseus’ paradox, a thought experiment that asks whether an object that has had all of its components replaced over time is still the same object.

Maria Popova thinks soul is the best shorthand to describe that continuous center within us, and excepted this beautiful quote by Virginia Woolf:

The man* who is aware of himself is henceforward independent; and he is never bored, and life is only too short, and he is steeped through and through with a profound yet temperate happiness. He alone lives, while other people, slaves of ceremony, let life slip past them in a kind of dream. Once conform, once do what other people do because they do it, and a lethargy steals over all the finer nerves and faculties of the soul. She becomes all outer show and inward emptiness; dull, callous, and indifferent.

Let us simmer over our incalculable cauldron, our enthralling confusion, our hotch-potch of impulses, our perpetual miracle — for the soul throws up wonders every second. Movement and change are the essence of our being; rigidity is death; conformity is death: let us say what comes into our heads, repeat ourselves, contradict ourselves, fling out the wildest nonsense, and follow the most fantastic fancies without caring what the world does or thinks or says.

I’m not sure if we should always follow our hearts. But it seems like many of us don’t pay enough attention to our inner selves. Embracing change, listening to our soul, and having the courage to be ourselves seem like good advice for many of us.

Read Full Post »

Weakness and Regret

I was in a conference listening to former NBA star Jeremy Lin. He’s charming, likable, and his stories are inspiring. It’d have been nice to have a photo with him. Luckily, I sat at a front row table close to his exit. Unfortunately, I don’t have the courage and decisiveness to approach him for a photo. Some attendees just walked up to him despite security’s efforts to clear his path. They got photos taken, while I could only think, “What if?”

This is a trivial event. Having a photo with someone famous often is more about bragging or showcasing one’s importance. But it reminds me that people with personalities like mine often miss opportunities and regret not taking actions, especially under time pressure.

What if it’s an important decision like confessing our feelings, or reconciling with someone we might not meet again? Fortunately for these decisions, we usually have more time to think and act. Even if it’s hard to be courageous, we can prepare and do our best.

For situations that happen infrequently and have time constraints, we need to change. One solution is to practice and get used to these situations. Some people deliberately put themselves in uncomfortable situations and learn to get used to rejections, doing things like asking for a discount at Starbucks, talking to strangers on public transport, or performing in public.

But do we really want to change? Sometimes we want to preserve our identity, even when it doesn’t serve us well. If I see myself as an introvert and a sensitive person, do I suddenly want to be a social butterfly or someone who can act boldly in public? But we are also constantly changing. If the change is for the better, should we not embrace it?

We all possess minor weaknesses. I hope to minimize major regrets and not dwell on the smaller ones, as flaws make us human.

A friend sent me this quote by Trevor Noah:

I don’t regret anything I’ve ever done in life, any choice that I’ve made. But I’m consumed with regret for the things I didn’t do, the choices I didn’t make, the things I didn’t say. We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to. “What if…” “If only…” “I wonder what would have…” You will never, never know, and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.

Read Full Post »

Before Sunset Apartment

I am a fan of the Before series and happy to come across this article about the Paris apartment in the movie.

As Celine opens the front door there is an inescapable sense that, unlike the other locations they have visited, this is a destination, not somewhere to pass through.

Yes, we see Celine’s apartment through Jesse’s eyes, and see how it represents everything he feels his 30-something married life is lacking: freedom, adventure and pleasure. But, I understood it also marks the moment when Celine stops being Jesse’s fantasy woman — existing in his memory and his dreams as a symbol of lost youth — and comes into focus as a fully real person. Sitting on her wonky futon, looking at her childhood photos, rifling through her CDs, Jesse can finally get under Celine’s skin. And isn’t that the most fervent fantasy of all? To invite someone in, reveal the intimate, cluttered parts of yourself, and be truly known?

Read Full Post »

Sketches IX

Read Full Post »